The character  " Bernice" is copyrighted by Larry Baird. Any use of the character "Bernice", without the written consent of Larry Baird, is prohibited.


She had one leg, an accordion and a dream

Review from Mercedez, the co-star of the long running stage show CARLY'S ANGELS.

"...I finally took the time 2 days ago to read a book.
It was all about a mega star named Bernice. A charming story of hope that leaves you feeling warm inside with a tear in your eye. The author may have a twisted sense of reality tho." 


Review from amazon customers:

 "I completely loved this book.  The stories about Bernice were enthralling and imaginative.  Even knowing that it was a fictional book it seemed so realistic and the fact that the author had drawn in historical points or historical figures drew me into the book even more and I never wanted to put it down.  I definitely would recommend this to my friends and family." 


"A fun story, or rather stories about a remarkable woman.  Even though the tales are farfetched they are surprisingly believable.  Some parts had me laughing out loud."




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Also available in Calgary at Shelf Life Books




The thing about Bernice tales is that they are in no chronological order...I write them as I find out more about the woman.

Just in case you don't know the background, of Bernice, I will give a brief history.

I heard about Bernice from a very old man that sat next to me on a park bench. I thought he was just there to feed the pigeons but he began to talk to me and told me about the most amazing woman. I thought he was making it up but the more I dug into what he had told me, the more I found was real.

How had the history books missed this woman, or was she intentionally removed from our past? Was this an enormous cover-up or just an honest accidental omission? All I know is that this woman's story MUST be told and it appears I have been the one chosen to tell it.

Bernice was just a young lass when she got a job as a dance hall girl in war torn France during the First World War. It was a dream of hers, since she was a child, to be able to play the accordion, but she couldn't afford one, let alone lessons, so to augment her dance hall pay, she tried her hand at was just for awhile 'til she could afford her dream, but she managed to hook some of the most ornate rugs ever seen in Paris. She also tried her hand at prostitution, but preferred hooking.

Finally the day came when she could buy an accordion...a shiny red one... and almost overnight she became a local celebrity. She was known all through the entire city for how well she could tap dance, and can-can while playing her shiny red accordion. Oh how the critics raved whenever she came up with a new routine! Little did she know that during her brief stint as a prostitute she had contracted a very rare form of flesh eating disease...this was about to change her life and help her on her way to becoming one of the worlds greatest stars.

It was on Armistice Day, in Paris the celebrating was unreal...Never before had Paris partied like this. Bernice was performing a new routine that was dedicated to the troops...she felt a tingle in her leg, but didn't think anything of it...she thought it was just part of the electricity in the air. She was just about to go into her big finale, the triple-step tap with a can-can start and finish, all to La Marseilles, when on her first kick her leg flew off her body and out through the window floating away in the Seine. Remarkably there was no blood, this Flesh eating Disease was a miracle as much as a curse. Bernice felt only a slight rip as her leg flew away...and in order to not disappoint the boys, she finished her number before she collapsed to thunderous applause.

It was at this show that she met an American Soldier name Hank. Hank quickly swept Bernice off her foot and took her back to America to live with him, his brother Henry and his grandma. Well Grandma didn't take to Bernice at all and after giving it a good try, Bernice left Hank and grandma behind and found her road to stardom.

Bernice's adventure takes her through much of the first half of the 20th century and it is astounding how she is connected to some very important people and events.

Enjoy the adventure!


N O W       A V A I L A B L E

The follow-up to 'The Bernice Papers'

Read about

Bernice & Hilda:  The Schmermonger papers


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